By Silvana Carranza Navarro 

Independent consultant and activist

I try to laugh about it.
Hiding the tears in my eyes
Because boys don't cry
The Cure

A few months ago, together with the Opportunity Youth Advisory Group (GAJ), we visited CECATI 171 in Iztapalapa and Conalep Ecatepec II to conduct two participatory workshops on the perspectives and proposals of Opportunity Youth in the Comprehensive Care System.

Both experiences were very enriching. In the first session, participation was predominantly female, close to 100%. In contrast, in Ecatepec, the presence was predominantly young men. This allowed, in that particular session, the male perspective on the right to care to be highlighted, something unusual given that this continues to be an agenda driven primarily by women. Precisely for this reason, we consider this session especially valuable and enriching.

This is because, during the workshop, one topic that gained special relevance was mental health, directly linked to gender roles, particularly the way young men experience their masculinities. This result is significant, since the emotional sphere has historically been associated with women and the feminine. Since masculinity has traditionally been defined in contrast to femininity, men and masculinities have been constructed as symbols of strength, characterized by the suppression or control of their emotions.[1]

However, nothing is more erroneous than assuming that certain attributes, such as aggression, are exclusively masculine, or that compassion and caring belong only to women. This idea is completely wrong: men can be caring and compassionate, just as women can also display violent or aggressive behaviors. Although love, care, nurturing, and tenderness have been culturally defined as feminine attributes, it is especially valuable when young people challenge this idea, reminding us that these emotions are not exclusive to one gender, but an essential part of the human experience.

This questioning is especially relevant in the context in which this reflection took place. The imposed masculinity we've discussed stems from the construction of the "ideal" man: a white, middle-class, heterosexual man, molded by the idea of being self-sufficient, strong, and unemotional. However, questioning these models also reflects the reality experienced by young people with opportunities in the peripheries, in this case, the State of Mexico and Mexico City.

Putting caregiving at the center involves making these categories visible and, in particular, challenging the dominant view of masculinity as emotionless, because, without a doubt, boys cry too, and emotions have the potential to provoke social and political change, as well as to challenge prevailing social structures.

Dignified anger, fury, pride, tenderness, and empathy have shown us that emotions are not just a form of expression toward the world, but also powerful tools for transforming it. What better way to use them than to rethink the traditional organization of caregiving, fatherhood, and parenting? Supporting a generation that recognizes the plurality and complexity of caregiving, as well as the importance of male participation in combating existing inequalities, is an invaluable legacy. A legacy that will ensure that, in the future, no boy or girl will have to question whether their emotions are valid or not.

[1] Armengol, J.M. (2014). Rewriting Masculinity: Men and Feminism. Alianza editorial, 2022.